Identity

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

5:20am – Get up

6:30am – Start work

2:50pm – Dad calls;

“Hey Dad!”

“Hey son…heard from ECU today.”

“…yeah…“

“Uhh…you…you didn’t get in…“

“what?…“

“You did not get accepted…“

“…I’m so sorry bud...”

4:50pm – Almost break down crying while waiting for Oil Change

- Kept replaying in my mind my parents having to tell their friends, coworkers, and family that I didn’t get accepted…again.

-Felt like I let them down.

-Felt like I was embarrassing them as they told their community

8:15pm – broke down in front of men from small group as we were repenting and praying for one another

-prayed over:

“Jesus, I just ask that You would remind Brad that his identity and significance is found only in You. That You would be the center of his heart and mind. That Brad is not praised because of applying to medical school, but because of Your calling on His life as an adopted son on mission…”

The Spirit really began to do a work in me at that very moment. I thought about the lie of disappointment from my parents. I put myself in their shoes. I thought about how I would feel if my son got rejected from med school a second time. About my son who loves Jesus passionately and His church to the point of sacrificing family time for ministry time and seeing lost souls meet their Redeemer. I thought about the pride I would have in him at that moment; the moment I think of my son and see Jesus.

2 Other words of encouragement from friends

Catherine: “It’s not ECU rejecting you, but simply God guiding and leading you”

Chris: “Dog, God’s call on your life to be Pastor Doctor is still evident. Dude, don’t be discouraged. Just think of what God has done in me and you since August regarding our walks with Christ and being manly men. God is just wanting to prepare and develop you a little more before sending you off to the battle front.”

Jesus, forgive us when we put our hope and identity in things other than You. Thank You for saving me. Thank You for living in me in such a way that my heart breaks for what your heart breaks for…a lost and hopeless people. Jesus, keep me focused through believers around me. May we continually point one another to You and the work accomplished at the cross. I love you and will continue to pursue what you have called me to. -Amen